Subject: Married humour   Wife:                "What are you doing?"   Husband :          Nothing.    Wife :                "Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."   Husband :         "I was looking for the expiry date."    -------------------------------    Wife : "Do you want dinner?"    Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"    Wife : "Yes or no."    -------------------------------    Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?"    Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."    Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"    Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"    --------------------------------------------------------    Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."    Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."    Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."    ------------------------------   Son: " Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."    Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."    Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."    ________________________________    A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"    "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"    ------------------------------------------------------------    Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever    The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."